La montaña ruso de mi mente.

2013-08-17 15.05.07

Those of you with a certain theatrical bent will know that Diana Goodman missed the mountains.

I could be her Sherpa guide these past few weeks, and today was an all-day pass, ride as much as you like (and then stay on a little longer) on The Beast of emotional roller coasters.

Today’s brilliantly curated Keith Haring exhibit pretty much did me in. Sometimes a piece of work will press a few buttons, maybe even strike a chord or two.  This was more like a symphony of memories, fears, dreams, hopes, triumphs, failures and insecurities.

Creativity. Art. AIDS. Racism. Sex. Injustice. Lost time. New York. Anger. Protest. Love. The dichotomy of making money while protesting capitalism. The 80s. Working with kids. Using your talents to help spread a message. Education. Compassion.

He died when he was 31, just a few years after being diagnosed.  He created so much work, and it was so much bigger (not just in size, but in scope as well) than I had ever imagined.  I don’t think I could create half as much if I lived another 31 years.

Not quite sure why it affected me so much, and even less sure how to put it into words.  But that’s what a journal’s for and not this blog … although this blog hasn’t really served much of a purpose, what with less than a handful of entries to document my Barcelona adventure. And yet, here I am, typing away in Paris, a city that, to quote my Spanish translation of The Sun Also Rises, “no me dice nada”.

Maybe it’s time to figure out (or at least breathe our way through) these ups and downs and twists and turns and turn them into proper stories.  What do you say, Ms. Goodman?  If we’re going to be trekking through the mountains, we might as well have something to show for it, eh? So many things to finish.  So many new things to start.

At the end of the day, I’m glad the roller coaster took me to MAM today, and not to Gare Nord to EuroStar it all away today and seek respite in London with Larry and the cats. I’ll be there in a couple of weeks anyway.

In the meantime, I’ll wandering the streets of Paris for the next few days with:

  • two lovely, compassionate and very funny women at my side
  • Jake, Robert and Lady Brett Ashley in my Kindle
  • images of barking dogs and crawling babies to inspiring me to quit worrying about getting it right and get the words out of my head and on to a page.

And then back to Barcelona.  Where the rest of the summer (and a couple months more) awaits.


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